Obsessive Repulsive

No room overhead...

I have another website you know, its optimistic, full of all the good things that happen to me, although most of my time is spent here, in the Low.

A really bad week, so let me begin...


Its all gone.
money, hope, assurance.

It has arrived.
anxiety, uncerainty, the unknown, and fear.


My grandmother died. I will not be at the funeral, the car she gave me, my K car, from K, towed out of the garage, decrepit, the flat tires bringing the cold metal of the rims that much closer to the oil smeared concrete where she lay the past couple of months.

Created a fantasy in my head the past couple days. I knew it was unrealistic, too soon of course, but when, if ever? I was righted last night, it hurts. Here I am again. Seems so hopeless. There is romance, I am sure, just doesn't involve me.

Tried to further my career aspirations on monday, it ended in complete disaster, nothing lost really, but certainly nothing gained, I will remain entry level. Its been three years.

Said goodbye to my old home, that unlucky place with so many lucky 9's in the address. It had one last bit of shit for me though. The truck I rented to finally clear it out, I scratched the side all up, taking from me what little security I had saved up in the bank. Plans are non existent now. My focus is survival, rather than conquer.

Smoking too much this morning, all fagged out, I stink. Time to quit after this pack, my defiance is over, lasted three days.