Un-Happy Valentine

Henri Cartier-Bresson, France 1926

This post has a soundtrack....Song One, and Song Two, - (real player req.)

I always had crushes on the weirdest women. Well, I guess back then they were called girls. It was some time ago, back when I was in high school, maybe grade 11. She sat ahead of me, at the front of the class, I sat at the back. I don't even remember her name, but I never missed a class, and was always early so I could watch her walk in the door to take her seat. Her hair was scraggly, greasy even. She wore an oversized team jacket of some sort with the thread bare cuffs pulled over the palms of her hands. She always wore jeans, tight acid wash jeans. Maybe that was it? Despite her unkept look, and obvious disregard for fashion, she seemed unattainable to me.

So it was Valentines day, and for a dollar or two you could buy a candy cane with a message attached to it and have it delivered to the object of your affection. Of course I didn't dare send one to her. I knew she was disinterested in me, and that it would be pointless to send a message admitting my desire to hold hands with her down the hallways of that evil place. So I am sure you can imagine my astonishment when I was delivered a candy cane from the girl that sat a few desks ahead of me. It said something along the lines of "I've been thinking about you more than I should... - Laura." Laura, that was her name, I remember it now.

You know that feeling right? That flood of emotion, adrenaline mixed with fear, and the euphoric pleasure that it can bring to your senses. Well that's how I felt, that day, when I thought Laura and I, in her acid wash jeans, and me in my khaki green army jacket, would be together by the setting of the evening sun. I skipped my next class and ran all the way home with wild ideas in my head of dinner together, a late night drive through the city, and a kiss good-bye on the front steps of her suburban bungalow.

I had to get a car, and my brother had a real nice one. A white Mazda RX-7 that he had just bought. I knew I would have a hard time getting him to lend it to me, but this was love! I ran down the steps to the basement where he was still sleeping off a hangover from the night before. My brother rarely went to class in those days, he was a favorite on the high school party circuit because he looked very similar to John Taylor from Duran Duran, and he had a nice car. I told him about the candy cane from Laura, and my plans to take her out that evening with his car. He of course said no at first, and then proceeded to make fun of me for liking a "banger" like laura, as he put it. I explained to him how much I liked her, and how I would do anything if he would just lend me the car for a little while so that I could go get her in time for school to let out. He must have been tired, and just wanted to get rid of me, because after much begging he threw me the keys from his water bed, telling me to be back by seven. Everything was falling into place.

I picked out the best cassette tape that I could find in my room, changed into my most engaging outfit, got into the car, opened the sunroof, put the car into first, revved the rpm's to 4000, and dropped the clutch. Which sent me burning rubber up the avenue towards the girl with scraggly hair. Man, that was some machine.

Of course I parked the RX-7 right out in front of the school, and walked up the steps with a swagger that only an expensive two seater could provide. Class would be letting out shortly, and as I waited I rehearsed what I would say to Laura. "Hey, yeah, I got your candy cane, that was nice." "I have a car, just outside there, yeah, the white one." "No, heheh, it's my brothers but he lends it to me all the time, let's get out of here, go for a drive." My palms were sweaty, and I was shaking ever so slightly as the hallways began to fill up with the other kids I went to school with. Most of whom I hated with a passion.

Except for Rod, and Ray. They were like a comedy team those two. Their ridiculous humor of dressing up in odd outfits and going to the mall, or dining and dashing at burger joints, or getting Jehovah Witnesses to convert them to the ways of the lord at recess, seemed very juvenile and uncool by the time we started high school. So I began to separate myself from them somewhat, and I think they were always a little resentful of that. As I was waiting for the lovely Laura to come to the front doors where her chariot awaited, I could see Rod and Ray approach me. I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were up to something. I told them all about the candy cane from Laura. Pointing to the white sports car outside I expressed my excitement about my plans for the evening, and how, even though Laura wore acid wash jeans, she obviously liked me. That's when Rod and Ray started to repeat the message in the candy cane, word for word, in a high pitched girly voice, then they erupted into laughter.

I tried to smile, I tried to make it look like I barely cared, after all, she wore acid wash jeans, and that hair?! But the truth was, I was crushed. I gave Rod and Ray a playful shove, told them they were both losers, and left the school with an appreciation for the fact that I didn't run into Laura with my candy cane from Rod and Ray.

I got into the car, and drove home, alone...