Your Time Is Gonna Come, Soon

It took me two days to get home.

I woke up Thursday in the South. In a strange apartment. The sound of the city bellowing up through the tall open windows. My body feels like it is finally pushing back from the shit that I have been putting it through the last year. What took it so long? I feel like I could drop dead at any moment.

I did smile though, the evening beforehand. When I noticed a guy eating dinner alone at the end of the bar looking over at me in curious wonder. I had two gorgeous women sitting on each side of me. On the left, a jewellery artist, and on the right, the owner of her own catering business.

I could understand the loners envy. Watching the ladies touch my shoulder to emphasize a point, or push me in jest at my bad jokes. It must have been annoying to have to sit and watch. No wonder he didn't stay long.

Smile as I might though, with women here, and women there, I still feel lost and empty. All I want is to fall in love, and watch TV. I dream of a day when I can order cable because I have found someone to lie with on the couch wrapped in the happiness that comfort can bring. Without the use of intoxicants, without an excuse to escape in the morning.

Franny will be here in an hour. I will meet her in the bar downstairs, and I will try with all my might, to get what I want.