The FreeWay

My grandmother died a year ago today. I often still see her, all I have to do is look in a mirror, cover the lower half of my face with my hands , and she appears. In the blueness of my eyes, the shape of my brow, and the bridge of my nose.

What a difference 365 days can make. The summer is coming and I can't believe the way things are beginning to shape up for the hot ones ahead. Unice, much to my surprise has made arrangements for us to meet in Portland of all places. She has put me in contact with two of her friends who I have only met once, and dare I say are extremely sexy. One of them has a convertible, which is ideal for a north western road trip. We are to drive to Quincy, Washington, for a two day outdoor rock festival in something called the Gorge. A natural amphitheatre about 10miles from Quincy. All the best bands that are touring right now will be there, a mini Coachella. Then we will continue on to Portland where Unice will be in town for the shooting of a small indie production. We will party, Unice is crazy, and I can't imagine Portland will be good for much else. I have no idea. I am just looking forward to a steady diet of whiskey and Lucky Strikes. Lucky indeed, her friends will drive her back to LA to visit for awhile, and I will take the train back to the hometown. This all takes place towards the end of May.

July is shaping up nicely as well. Chick emailed everyone that is in the band that I play in to tell us all that she has reserved her friends 5 bedroom beach house that overlooks Long Beach, in Tofino, for a week. So the whole band is in, and it will only cost 100$ a head. She had mentioned this earlier in the winter, but I didn't think she would come through. Apparently it's amazing there, I have never been. It's the edge of the country, any further and you're swimming.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I was in the dusty, gravel covered spring streets in the prairie town that I grew up in. I looked upon the months ahead back then as a burden, something I didn't think I would be able to pull through. I wanted life to leave me behind. I wanted to crawl into that hole that I lowered my grandmothers ashes into on that freezing cold Sunday last year.

Last summer was full of intensity and wild times, most of which I was too scared to write about here, but it was also wrapped in depression. This summer will be different. I will live hard, and free, and no one will get in my way, for it will be the last summer that I will live like that. Someone has to make something out of this mess, rather than put the past on repeat with different characters.

So I plan on seeing my refection often in the small rectangle of a rear view mirror, on a freeway. It will frame my eyes in that certain way, and I know I will be in good company.